Cat the wreck

this cat needs therapy, counseling, psychological help. does tinkle friend (or is it twinkle friend) still work?

for the first time in my working life (short as it is), cat broke down at work. broke down as in, cried.. seriously, how many people have seen this cat cry b4.. (funerals not counted). but, since april till now, I've cried like i dunno how many times.. all due to work stuff.. and i don't know why. work ain't supposed to be this hard.. i'm working in a VWO for god's sake.. really, i thought entering an industry like that will be more loving, nicer and less stressful..

now, i seriously preferred my life in Eureka.. at least it was so much more straightforward..

i also dunno why i broke down.. guess it was an accumulation of the stress over the past few weeks.. i remember i had migraine on thurs night, went home, showered, napped for a short while, woke up, and talk on phone wif TSO for awhile, and was crying a little, he cheered me up abit and we put down the phone. b4 i could sleep, somehow i just started crying and i couldn't stop. finally slept.
went to work the next day, wanted to talk to my mgr abt something, but b4 anything, all i could tell her was 'i cannot take it anymore' and the tears just started coming out. had a long talk with her. things are bad. i told her everything. but when faced wif my ED after that, I couldn't say anything, and things that i said to her were just superficial. now she thinks that there's no problem, juz my mgr being over protective.

how? i can't eat well, i can't sleep, my heart rate increases even when i just someone looking remotely like her. i get upset and cry at the smallest thing.. esp over work. how am i going to complete the one year? i feel i'm gonna suffer an emotional or mental breakdown soon. i don't know how to go on. i don't dare to tell my parents, i feel i'm like that cos i'm weak. i think the problem lies with me. coz i'm fuking useless, can't even handle a bit of stress.

but i really can't take it anymore. i have to force myself to go to work, i tremble at the thought of work, of facing her in office. everyday going to office, wondering if i am gonna get yelled at today, not daring to do anything for fear of doing it wrong and getting scolded. but this way, things get delayed, and i still get scolded at in the end.

i really want to leave. i cannot take it anymore. what can i do? i'm actually crying as i type this.. wtf.. when did i become so weak, so useless..